The Cost of Experience is Inconvenience
Alternative Working Title: A hot take on hybrid work from an introvert who has seen the value of working IRL but isn’t going back into the office anytime soon (Part I)
Updated: December 7, 2023
Recently I’ve been watching a conversation about hybrid work and returning to the office on the Fishbowl app (think of it as a more incognito) ignite like a grease fire. I’d like to share my take as an elder millennial who has done both.
I cannot imagine going back to the office at this stage in my life and career. As a single mom to a spirited 3-year-old and juggling a full-time job I adore, my days are already packed. I recall clinging to a job I barely liked, simply because pre-pandemic remote work was like a unicorn. Now, I clock in 45-50 hours weekly, but the perk? I pick up my daughter at 4:30 pm and log back in after her bedtime. I save countless hours by skipping the commute and morning prep.
However, I've learned firsthand that some of the most impactful work and invaluable lessons cannot happen remotely. Sure, heading to the office has its drawbacks, but don't most worthwhile things come with a cost? The price of genuine connection, wisdom, and experience is the inconvenience of lost time, being around other people, and getting out of your comfort zone.
I have had so many life-changing, formative experiences with bosses and peers that could not have happened if we were remote. One of my bosses shared a story about her cancer treatment–I later introduced her to my real mom as my “work-mom.” Another boss sat with me after a long day of conducting layoffs and pulled out a bottle of wine from her bottom cabinet for us to share. That same boss covered a meeting for me after my (front) tooth unexpectedly fell out 10 minutes before I was scheduled to present to a group of executives. A peer (and friend) told me she was going to adopt her first child weeks after we spent months studying, laughing, and binging ice cream while we studied for a work ceritification together. I called another peer years later (a retired police officer) to ask for advice when I thought a friend of mine might be in danger and he shared his time and wisdom generously without a moment’s hesitation.
I look back on those memories not just fondly, but deeply. We created real connections because we got to be humans IRL. Without having worked in an office alongside some of the most extraordinary people I’ve ever met at SPX FLOW and Industrious, I know I would not be where I am in my career and life today.
And so, while I would not choose to go back to the office today (or next week), I would like to go back when the season is right for me. I think that humans are social creatures and that even with anxiety and inconvenience, there’s much more to be gained by being face-to-face than there is to lose. Humans are multi-faceted… so is work. We have to hold space for both–the good and the bad, the cost and the reward.
If you are too young to have ever been in an office, I hope this gives you hope that good can come there. It’s not all fluorescent lighting and open-seating. It’s real, live, wonderful human beings with stories to tell and relationships to be made. In the right place it can be love and friendship and confidence and connections–it doesn’t have to be a cage.
If you are an employer hoping to bring everyone back to the office, I see you. Give us time, be patient. It’s been a hard few years. My best advice is to work with your people to find a compromise, be transparent and vulnerable in your communications, and be open to feedback. Most importantly—begin and end with empathy.
